hmmm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/...st/7095134.stm


A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three
years on probation.

Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by
conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for
three years.

Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom
at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the
door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the
accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if
to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who
called police.

Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I
thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a
new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding
after he had too much to drink.

The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving
from his council house in Girvan.

He now lives in Ayr.

Snip

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the
accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if
to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who
called police.

Well, if the Raleigh's a rockin', don't bother knocin'

Isn't this always the case?

On Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:06:25 -0000, "Tommo ³" wrote:

Snip

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the
accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if
to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who
called police.

Well, if the Raleigh's a rockin', don't bother knocin'

Isn't this always the case?

Hey as long as the bike wasn't under age I have no problem with
whatever two consenting adults do in private.

Tommo ³ wrote:

Snip

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the
accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if
to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who
called police.

Well, if the Raleigh's a rockin', don't bother knocin'

Isn't this always the case?

I think the problem was a lack of stabilising wheels. The staff of the
hostel rushed to the room when they heard a loud crash. If he'd only
attached a pair of stabilisers, there wouldn't have been an issue.

He should have read the FAQ for alt.sex.hostelbike****ers.

On Nov 15, 5:15 pm, "Rex" wrote:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/...st/7095134.stm

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three
years on probation.

Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by
conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

By any chance was he listening to a Queen song when he done the deed?



Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like

--
YOP...

"noname" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:06:25 -0000, "Tommo ³" wrote:

Snip

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the
accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as
if
to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who
called police.

Well, if the Raleigh's a rockin', don't bother knocin'

Isn't this always the case?

Hey as long as the bike wasn't under age I have no problem with
whatever two consenting adults do in private.

Untold in this news story is whether the bicycle was a men's or ladies'
model. Unless it was the latter, this guy was clearly bi(ke)sexual.

"mack" wrote in message
...

"noname" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:06:25 -0000, "Tommo ³" wrote:

Snip

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the
accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as
if
to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager
who
called police.

Well, if the Raleigh's a rockin', don't bother knocin'

Isn't this always the case?

Hey as long as the bike wasn't under age I have no problem with
whatever two consenting adults do in private.

Untold in this news story is whether the bicycle was a men's or ladies'
model. Unless it was the latter, this guy was clearly bi(ke)sexual.

If it were a gel seat I think we'd all have a go. I'd draw the line at
stabillisers though. I'm not some type of paedosexual, FFS.

"Tommo ³" wrote in :

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth
as if to simulate sex."



Well, if the Raleigh's a rockin', don't bother knocin'

Isn't this always the case?


Meh, Nunn's been shoving bicycles up his arses for years.

--
Cheers, Os

"Rex" wrote in
:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/...st/7095134.stm


A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to
three years on probation.


OTWBFB.

Sid

Maybe his horse died?