Liopleurodon spake thus:

I'm just starting out on the B&W develope and process road, and am slowly
gathering the gear to start a basic darkroom.

Everything I've read states that unexposed film (I'll be using B&W 35mm)
needs to be handled in complete darkness, you can't even use a safelight
with it. So I have to practice loading the bulk film loader and then the
developing tank in complete darkness.

My two questions a

Has anyone found a way of not doing this in complete darkness, eg.
night-vision, infra-red or special safelight filter?

Nope, at least not for the type of film you'll probably be using, which
is referred to as panchromatic (meaning sensitive to all colors). You
can use a safelight with some orthochromatic film, which isn't [as]
sensitive to certain colors, but what you heard is true: *any* light
will fog the (pan) film.

When handling the film, how important is it to keep your fingers off the
actual film face?

Pretty important: skin oils can interfere with development and leave an
ugly impression on the image.

Relax; it sounds like you have the same jitters everyone has before they
actually handle film. There's an easy way to avoid all the potential
problems you're imagining: practice. Use some spare film and practice
loading it until you get the hang of it.