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Old December 11th 13, 10:05 PM posted to sci.engr.color,sci.image.processing,rec.photo.darkroom,rec.photo.digital,comp.soft-sys.matlab
Martin Leese
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Posts: 27
Default [OT] some street advice

Dale wrote:

for me crack didn't mess with my mind as long as I was getting my fair
share of bumps on time from the person handing them, or after awhile
when I got addicted everytime ran out, I probably got addicted because
of previous times of not getting my fair share of bumps on time, I
suspect purpose in this regard, watch out for it

what really messed with my libido was weak or fake crack not getting
bumps on time, while waiting for the real stuff to return

due to the above issues I don't think crack is addictive alone

eventually found the real stuff alone, mainly giving the middle man his
due, and gave myself my own bumps, but my libido was already messed up
and I was addicted

at some point I gave it up because I couldn't afford ANYTHING else in
life, kind of got the idea that bad stuff was coming

it was too late, lost everything in life, an engineering job, a
girlfriend, a duplex house in the suburbs, my car and most everyone I knew

I didn't only hit rock bottom, I hit fear/paranoia due to being alone
with the libido issues, my Mom offered me a place to stay but even she
had disdain for some things in my life, I still love her, she passed in
2011

I'm under psychiatric help now and clean for a very long time

basically, I had to be a big shot and learned my lesson the hard way,
should have never entered my teenage fantasies after getting the
engineering job because I'm a punk, learned that before, and have little
place on the street besides my mouth, mouth is useful too, I was a brain
that decided to be a burnout twice, and I burned out twice, learned my
place

hope others can learn from this

a joker only goes so far, its at least a fighting chance, eventually he
makes himself and the right circle or someone else makes him

also learned the minority can never beat even a corrupt establishment
with violence, look at Hitler, no intent to win, sacrificing the people
to martyrdom and expecting some kind of escape for the bosses
afterwards, the best you can due with a corrupt establishment is wait
till they break the law and call the police and let the street know too
so they have no place to run and little chance to keep their resources


Go away, troll.